Mercury "Retro-Shade" and Self Love
Updated: Sep 10, 2022
Mercury Retrograde may be over, but the shadow period has just begun… During those times of the year when Mercury is in retrograde, we all know to triple- check our work emails before pressing "send,” and to avoid entering into any contracts. However, we actually have to concern ourselves with the timeframe before and after the event itself. Mercury is responsible for social dealings and communication, and when it is moving backwards, we tend to struggle with connecting to one another and find ourselves misplacing items.
Mercury Retrograde Shadow Period
Let's consider the "retro-shade" the prologue and final chapter of a story. The shadow period takes place two weeks before and two weeks after the actual retrograde. Now you know why you were feelingfunky before the planet even started to move backwards - Mercury was slowing down...and when it goes direct, it speeds up. As the event approaches, you may get a sneak peek of what is to come; and in the trailing shadow period, the energy mimics the pre-retrograde energy, only this time, it's moving forward and picking up speed. It is not uncommon to find a sense of resolution with some of the issues you have been dealing with over the past couple of weeks.
Effects on your Communication, Money, Stability or Value
Mercury is moving direct on June 3rd, but the retroshade period is an opportune time to assess what went wrong weeks before and what can change. You may notice momentum in aspects of your life surrounding money, stability, security, value, art, comfort and commitment, and you'll be reassured when dealing with any unresolved issues in these areas. You will feel more at ease in other aspects involving interpersonal group dynamics, communication, learning, editing, and sociability, especially if there has been conflict. Now is the time to be mindful of your actions...and say "NO" to any more drama!
Self Love - No Need for Validation
“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” — Thich Nhat Hanh We all have encountered someone in our life who is desperately trying to get approval and acceptance from others, who never feels good enough, and who is terrified of social rejection ... we likely have been that person. That deep-rooted fear of rejection and abandonment, normally stemming from early childhood, can haunt us. In many cases, that can be the underlying cause of our
problematic and toxic behavior: essentially, we are using methods to regulate our emotions that we learned from navigating through stressful environments in the past.
Fear of Rejection and Abandonment from Childhood
As stated before, this pain and rejection starts early, for most of us as children, and stays with us throughout our lives in one form or another. Consequently, we adopt the idea that our fundamental sense of self-worth and self-esteem does not come from within, but from others. Therefore, we constantly seek others’ approval or validation, and many turn to people-pleasing, where they are always fearful of being their authentic selves. We lose our sense of identity and our true feelings and thoughts get immersed with others as our boundaries become blurred and we become more concerned with the well-being of those around us instead of ourselves.
Set Healthy Boundaries
This process does have a flip side, however. There are others who develop different behavior patterns, whereas opposed to disregarding their own boundaries, they disregard other people’s boundaries and become concerned with no one else other than themselves. Someone may pop into mind that harbors these characteristics, but we must remember that these individuals are hurt, insecure and anxious, just like we all have been. Through compassion we can begin to understand that although they may be exhibiting narcissistic behaviors, which can be perceived as signs of high self- esteem, when in actuality it is the opposite. Needless to say, we have the power to change this trajectory ...
Healing and Growth Process
As we begin the healing and growth process, we learn to see ourselves through a different lens, a more accurate one where we learn to evaluate ourselves from a health space. We understand that we can learn to accurately estimate our self-worth instead of only relying on someone else's interpretation of it, which is often very inaccurate. Rather than coming from external opinions, our self-esteem comes from the inside as a reflection of who we truly are. As we continue to grow, we don't rely on others to validate our existence or define us anymore. We feel increasingly more connected with ourselves. We accept things about ourselves that our ego may not have allowed us to accept before. Thus, we become less dependent psychologically on the opinions and acceptance of others, and as we become stronger, we fear rejection less and less.
Step out of your Comfort Zone and release False Beliefs
We are braver and can step outside our comfort zone. We can change our behavior and the way we see others' behaviors, both of which lead to making
better choices. We can change our false belief systems.
We can loosen the grip on the old coping mechanisms as they no longer serve us. We believe and feel that we are truly enough. As these burdens are released, we can finally live a more mindful, aware, self-soothing, loving and fulfilling life.
Here are some Self-Love Mantras:
· “My friendship, time, and thoughtfulness are precious”
· “I invest these wisely and with integrity. I deserve it, as do my loved ones.”
· “I am who I am, and that’s good enough.”
· "I approve of me; I am worthy of love.”
· “I am proud of myself and all I’ve accomplished.”
You may have moments, even phases when you’ll doubt these, and that’s okay. Just remember: bad things may happen, and some people might not like you, but these are not a negative reflection of the awesome person you are.
You Determine Your Self-Worth
Your self-worth is determined by only one person: You. When you approve of yourself, you will begin to live an authentic life with lasting personal validation. No one will approve of everything you do - and that shouldn’t keep you from forging ahead to do the Lightwork!